When normal isn't what you expect

To all those waiting eagerly at the edge of your seats for my next mind-blowing post,

please recline in a more comfortable position

because

my finals are in 3 weeks and i'm freaking out.

Exams really stress me out.


When I say stress me out,


I mean really REALLY stress me out.


I can't stop stressing how much it stresses me out (hehehe).


I may not show it much but it's pure mayhem in my mind before exams.

How i look to everyone.

What's going on in my mind.

I mean who doesn't panic over exams?

However, I tend to worry too much,

to the point where it irritates people.


I tend to over think A LOT too.


Another one of my bad habits.


Over thinking leads to unnecessary and excessive self-motivation,


which is already second nature to me.


I am a planner.


I have to know my routine for the day beforehand and I like to stick to routines.


I have a specific and organised timetable for my studies in which I have to follow.


Everyday I set goals for myself (E.g.: finishing a certain number of chapters for a certain subject).


If I do not fulfill these goals i would be pretty agitated but of course I don't show it


because if I do, I'd probably end up looking and sounding like him.

I know many out there would disagree and say that i'm fortunate because self-motivation comes so easily for me


BUT


I beg to differ.


I do agree that it has definitely helped me achieve much more than I have ever expected academically 


but 


It just drains so much energy out of me when I have to constantly worry.


Oh well, as they say,


old habits die hard.


Only the Good Lord knows how long this habit has been pre-existing,


even since I was a differentiating blastocyst (sorry this is the result of too much Physiology).


Off to study now I shall !


And now I'm left with my thoughts again.