Indecisiveness and uncertainty

Just the other day I was watching a movie called The Five-Year Engagement.

 

It was great! 

You can't ever go wrong with Jason Segal and Emily Blunt.

Anyway one of the lines from the movie that still haunts me is:

 

"The worst choice you can make, is no choice at all".

 This line really struck a chord in me because of some choices I recently had to make.

I am the worst decision-maker in the world.

Indecisiveness and I are very much well-acquainted.

Perhaps TOO well.

Only recently did I learn to make crucial decisions of my own (mostly because I was forced to).

Choices are never easy. Why?

Because I'm a thinker and a realist.

I know that whatever choices I make will affect everything and everyone in my life.

I know that I have to live with the choices that I make.

I know that choices are never right or wrong, but merely choices.

If there are no right or wrong choices, why are they so hard to make?

Because only ONE choice can be made. 

For so long I was in a rut, drifting by each day with forced enthusiasm and petty conversations.

Feeling burdened by so many choices that must be made, I often seek isolation as an easy way to avoid confrontation.

Other times, impulsive shopping with girlfriends seems to be a better option.

Whatever it is, THE choice has already been made.

Sometimes all I feel is regret, but I know that it is for the greater good.

Maybe some day I would change my mind.

After all, there is always room for changes in life.

You just gotta keep an open mind.

 

Control thyself

Mark my words people.

Self-control is NOT my strong suit.

Everyday we fight against so many temptations.

Whether it is fighting against unhealthy sugar-coated cravings or trying to walk away from ginormous sales,

we will ALWAYS be surrounded by temptations.

The question is 

to succumb to temptations or to simply walk away from them?

My pathetic poker face every time I battle with temptations in my mind.

Have you ever spotted a girl who runs like a headless chicken into a shop and grabs whatever clothes she likes (provided that the clothes are of reasonable price) while giggling like a fool at how much she managed to save from the discounts?

Well that girl would be me.

Discounts are a scam! A black hole I say! Shield your eyes from them before it's too late! While business men are busy scheming with all the discounts and promotions, fools like us are mindlessly spending everything we have.

All for what? Because we save money on discounts?

THAT'S WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS. WE ARE FOOLED INTO THINKING THAT WE SAVE MONEY WHEN IN FACT WE SPEND MUCH MORE THAN WE SHOULD BECAUSE WE'RE DELUDED BY THE SALES.

HAHAHAHA saliva strand.

Sorry I'm going cray cray.

On a serious note, temptations can be detrimental.

A crucial decision on whether to succumb or not to succumb to temptations must be made.

Why?

Because the outcome of a situation can weigh heavily on this decision.

In extremely serious situations, giving into temptations can wreck lives and create unnecessary havoc (alright maybe it's slightly exaggerated).

However, temptations can be thought of in a positive way as well.

For example, succumbing to temptation and treating yourself with an icy, creamy scoop of Baskin Robbins when everything feels like s***. (yes, censorship is necessary on my blog because one must be considerate of the adult viewers).

Alright maybe I'm speaking gibberish right now.

This post came about because I know I'm lousy with self-control.

Don't bother saying, " CONTROL YOURSELF WOMAN!!" to me 

because y'all know it ain't gonna work honey.

*snaps fingers and struts off like a diva*

A little piece of me

HELLO EVERYBODY!

IT'S BEEN AWHILE.

WELCOME BACK TO MY LAIR.

Sorry I just had to use that picture to keep all of you interested (or induce feelings of disgust) so that this won't be another boring post on why I haven't blogged in awhile.

Ok maybe I do have to explain myself but this won't solely be about excuses.

There's more to that trust me.

I admit that I've been feeling very reluctant to blog and there's a reason for that.

Well a couple of reasons (bare with me it'll be over real quick).

It started off as me being busy with 

1. Assignments and tests.

2. Friends.

3. Dance and drama performances

Excluding petty reasons such as laziness, that pretty much sums up what I've been up to lately. 

My blog is a special place where I can express and document my (decent) thoughts while showing everyone who I am as a person through the words that I say.

When people seem have a better understanding of who I am as a person through my blog, I know that I'm heading into the right direction with my entries.

Recently, I have been going through some changes of my own.

I won't go into specifics but I have been experiencing an internal battle with myself.

It is a journey in which I have to take on my own and I have to say that this has been one of the toughest journeys I have ever dealt with.

Change is unavoidable. This battle is inevitable.

But I am determined to emerge from this battle with my head held high and without any regrets.

Because every decision that I have made now, I make them without any regrets.

I'm terrified of change. I have always been.

But now I am thankful for that change and I'm even looking forward to more changes in life,

because through these changes we grow,

and through growth, we learn.

Nothing has been resolved, but it soon will be,

and I trust my instincts.

In case all of you reading this are starting to worry about me, don't be.

Because I am glad for this journey.

Am I alright you may ask?

I have not been truly alright in the longest time, but I will get by.

Being away from my family and friends at home has made matters worse, but by dealing with this on my own, I learn more.

I want to give a special shout-out to EVERYONE out there who has helped me in any way (consciously or subconsciously).

I appreciate all your kind words and actions.

All of you are amazing and I would probably be mentally deranged if it weren't for your help.

Another even more special shout-out to Natalie.

You have been my main source of comfort and support.

Without you I would be in the back of a van, bounded tightly in a straitjacket and on my way to the nearest asylum.

You have been there from the very beginning of this journey and you know me through and through.

You are and will always be my best friend :)

Alright this is the end of a long, dreary post I promise.

To lighten up the atmosphere, here's one of my bimbo moments.